Thursday, May 31, 2007'♥
Gwen stefani-4 in the morning
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 10:03 PM
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wenta my cousin's house in the evening for steamboat..yummylicious!!i love to drink soup..plus got bbq also..i love bbq.and the whole evening i was like watching tv with my cousin..since dunno what time..we watched shallow hal,and i didnt understand the show.then wanted to watch 50 first dates but got music in the air on channel u..omg..TANK!!i love his songs man..haha.
eh..actually got nothing much to talk about today..was reading the storybook i borrowed yesterday for the whole afternoon..tmr got school!!gonna bring food to school again!!i hate the feeling of hunger..
thats about it.
goodnight.
goodbye.
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 12:35 PM
Wednesday, May 30, 2007'♥
chemistry wasn't that boring as i thought it would be.we did experiments..we mixed different chemicals in test tubes..and i especially love the ones which turned out to be bright yellow and ocean blue..what nice colours man..anyway,ama didnt come to school today.very boring.so i sat with eug during phy and ss..and i cant believe that hq gave the cookie to somebody..omg.i feel so ps..haha.after school i didnt know where to go so i took bus 12 then transferred to 196 to meet shark at marine parade library to study.but we wenta take our lunch first..we ate at parkway the yoshinoya.we bought chicken teriyaki and this dunno what seafood basket??it's very nice..then shark say want to eat shaker fries..so i pei her eat lor.shit sia..trans fats!!10 weeks!!like what tammy said..that story was so freaky..eh.so we walked to marine parade library after that..we started studying at first..but got distracted..i went around finding for mags..and like after a while..we saw razin and dunno who..he was like perspiring like mad sia..he was apparently soaked in his persiration..but i think he just came in to cool down cos he left after a while..so after all,we didnt really study but we went around looking for storybooks..i borrowed two books!!and like around 6 then i went home..
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 11:05 AM
Tuesday, May 29, 2007'♥
today was very funny.chem was supposed to end at 10 but in the end it ended at around 10.30..so we missed our recess..and just nice the next lesson was physics..so mr tan let us out for recess..we,meaning ama,tammy and me,wanted to go tmart to buy food,shaker fries!!instant noodles!!yummy!!haha..so we wenta ask mrs pong for permission but she say cannot..and ama was having gastric..so mrs pong wenta find food for us..she found manymany biscuits!!but we wanted to eat instant noodles..very hungry..so we pestered her to look for instant noodles for us.and guess what she found??MAMEE noodle snack!!so funny sia..from far i thought she really brought us packets of noodles..but when she came nearer,ama,tammy and me were really laughing our hearts out..that was our so called noodles.mrs pong was still asking if that will do..no need to cook one..haha..mrs pong is so funny..but thanks anyway!!im gonna bring food tmr,the canteen stalls were not opened..wth sia.want us to die of hunger ah??so im bringing cup noodles and biscuits tmr..wont die of hunger loh.haha.
and i was supposed to have ss mentoring during this june holidays..and that E has been msging me to ask us when we will be free..but i never reply..and guess what?i saw E in school today..i hope he didn't see me cos the moment i saw him,i turned away and hid behind my friend..haha. ss mentoring is boring..i hate it man!!
the moment i saw this msg,i was thinking of something..P said i think too much.haha.and i really does think too much..
E:so i'm still waiting for an answer.please.let's get this over with.
doesn't this sound like.......haha.
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 8:47 AM
Monday, May 28, 2007'♥
i lied to my parents again-.-
i really feel kinda guilty..but if they were to know that i have been going for volleyball matches, they will be damn mad at me..and worse still,stop me from playing volleyball forever.i didnt want to give up on volleyball just like that,due to the fact that i've been playing vb since primary three..if you were to count,it would be like around 7 to 8 years..it would be sucha waste to quit playing now right?so yah..i guess i have to keep this to myself and think of some excuses to get out during the weekends..since i've succeeded for these two days..haha.wth.but i cant possibly go out every weekend right?..they will be sure to suspect..and i nearly gave myself away yesterday..phew.
and for today's match,we played against presbyterian high..lost 1-2.but it was a great fight.. anyway,we are now in the top 8!!hoorray!!yay yay..as usual,susu fetched me home again..she's gonna help me wash my jersey..haha..it sounds as though i'm bullying her like that..lol.but if i were to bring my jersey home,my parents will surely know that i have been playing vb..but only my brother knows about this..just hope he wont tell or i will be sooo dead.and i also left my shoes and stuff in susu's car..hope it wont stink the whole car..haha.
andand..i wanna wish A and HB(not bh) all the best!!
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 11:59 AM
Sunday, May 27, 2007'♥
Would you be there
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 9:55 PM
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Qi Shi Hai Ai Ni
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 9:42 PM
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i just reached home from the vball match earlier on..it was supposed to start at 8pm..but in the end,the previous matches dragged the time for our match..so it started at around 8.45pm.we played against bukit panjang govt high..won 2-0!!cheers!!haha..
in the morning i was still deciding if i should go for the match..but i didnt wanna ps my seniors and be called PSK..some people should know what it meant.so i was thinking of an excuse the whole day..and guess what i told my parents?i actually told them that i had a class bbq at downtown east..and fine,they believed me..im feeling so bad about lying to them..but it was kinda rush..i left home at 5 and met up with si en,kaishi and jia xian..took 72 from tamp interchange all the way to yio chu kang interchange..like one end to the other end..the whole journey was like one hour plus plus..but we crapped alot on the bus..and they commented that i talk slower than freda!?really meh?haha..but i saw something.i saw a couple kissing..it may not be surprising..but they kissed several times..having some breaks in between lah.it was quite amusing i guess..
after the match,susu drove me all the way home from presbyterian high..it was so kind of her.. so she told me to leave my socks,kneepad and stuff on her car and she will bring it for me tmr.. just hope i can make it for tmr's match..
and lastly,i wanna say sorry to ama for not going for the soccer match yesterday..im really sorry..but congrats that you all won!!haha.
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 1:54 PM
Friday, May 25, 2007'♥
school was boring..went home straightaway after lessons ended which is after the cleaning up of the classroom..so spent like one hour plus at home using com before meeting ama to go school together to watch the soccer match and also her training..the match was ok..maybe abit sian..cos it was like the elite team against lower sec..so their strengths differ quite a lot..and the weather was so darn hot..was sitting under the hot sun during the second half,but it was kinda worth it..can watch them play..then after the match,i was sitting at the canteen benches facing the field to watch ama they all train..and he was like sitting somewhere beside me..but i dunno if it was because he didnt realise that i was there..or whatsoever..but after quite some time,he actually came and talked to me..i was so happy cos i thought he was ignoring me or unhappy with me for some reason which i dunno what it is..but i was kinda relieved that at least he talked to me for a while..so..yah.that's all.
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 11:35 AM
Thursday, May 24, 2007'♥
hilary duff-i wish
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 9:37 PM
Wednesday, May 23, 2007'♥
Yays..finally moved our tables back to our original position.i didnt like sitting all the way to the back..cos i get distracted very easily..so now im sitting all the way to the front at a corner,but a bit difficult to see the board from the corner..but never mind,i still like it.
afetr school,followed ama back home to get her soccer stuff..and i got free lunch!!wanton mee!! it's delicious,but very spicy until my whole lips went damn red..haha.thanks ama's dad..so,after that,ama's dad fetched us back to school..and i realised that i have been taking a ride on ama's dad's car for the past few days..a bit paiseh.how i wished my dad had a car like this..and to have a chauffeur to fetch me to school everyday..damn cool sia..wl.haha.
so,reached school..watched our class's match against 4c2..ok,we lost.and a lot ppl kept asking me why didnt i played the soccer match,but i really didnt know how to answer them..i don't have the potential in soccer maybe,or rather playing with so many guys is quite stressful..i really dont know..no confidence might be the answer.after the match,wanted to wait for ama..but she still had training..sorry ama for ps-ing you:(..so in the end,went home with huiqing cos she's also taking bus 3..and i treated her to bubble tea..i also accidentally leaked out something which i guess i shouldnt say..im afraid that she might tell..shitshitshit..my mind is now full of so many "what ifs"..hopes she helps me keep it a secret..
i think i will be having my 2.4km run tmr..arrggghhh.i scared i lost my stamina already,then how to run sia..but it's better to get it done with quickly..just see how it goes tmr ba..wish me luck then:)
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 11:36 AM
Tuesday, May 22, 2007'♥
School was alright.had a talk about the courses availabli in NYP..but i wasn't listening at all,was actually busy talking to ama..then assembly was boring too,except for the short video about beatboxing..it's cool manszz..HAHA.
after school a bit rush..went back class to take my bag then followed ama to her bro's school..then took bus to tamp int..and through this whole journey,we were like perspiring like mad..walked for quite a distance also,thats why we were kinda drowned in our own perspiration..like what mr wong said during assembly:we could be drowned in any water bodies, are we water bodies??haha..wth.anyway,when we reached tmall,we walked around for a while to cool down and thought shah will want to follow us to buy ama's boots..but never.so me and ama took train to peninsula shopping centre to get her boots..we went to two shops but don't have ama's size..so we tried going to the shops downstairs..there was a shop but got not many people inside..or rather nobody.so we went in and saw that boots and asked for her size..and luckily have her size..somemore got 10% discount!!lucky ama..that guy from the dunno which shop nearly cheated her money for that lotto boots..while waiting for her dad to come,we walked around funan,cos i want to eat..hehe.ate at kfc where ama watched me eat..before that we walked thru royal sporting house,then i saw one adidas bag..so nice and cheap lah..40 plus only. but too big liao..i so small take so big bag..funny sia.haha.so,after a while,ama's dad came to pay for that pair of boots..and he fetched us to tamp stadium,but i left a while later while the rest went for dinner.i will feel like a lightbulb among them..thou it might not be true..
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 12:45 PM
Monday, May 21, 2007'♥
Hilary duff-Someone's watching over me
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 9:05 PM
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I found all these words quite meaningful..so here it is..
-when a girl is quiet,there are a million things running through her mind.
-just because i smile,it doesn't mean that i'm happy because it takes one smile to cover a million tears.
-i don't run away from you,i walk away slowly.And it kills me because you don't care enough to stop me.
and by the way,didnt went for the match this afternoon.i'm really very sorry,seniors!!i will try my best to make it next sat.hope my parents will allow,and i have 5 days to think of a solution to convince them.
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 11:26 AM
Saturday, May 19, 2007'♥
today was a so-so day.watched a movie during hmt..it was a jack neo film but i dunno the title of the movie.think it's just follow law.it's hilarious as fann wong and gurmit singh were the main lead and they always bicker with each other.
then after that was physics.mr tan didnt come.yay,can sleep.haha.cos i have been sleeping quite late these few days..so in school always very tired.but mrs lai came in to relief the class.at first didnt dared to sleep cos she told us to do our own work,try not to sleep.but after a while,i really cannot tahan anymore,then i see got other ppl also sleeping..so yah,i dozed off.
geography was next.watched some video clip..damn boring,but i didnt sleep cos i guess i've slept quite enough during physics..heng sia.with mdm jamilah looking,i wont dare to even close my eyes.
then,had photo taking during SE.sat at the front row again..since sec one until now..except for last year when i actually stood at the second row..eh..went home after photo taking cos i really got nothing to do in school for the next 3 hours before training starts.
Training was alright.it was fun training with seniors..as they gave me lotsa encouragement which really made me more confident..thanks for that:)cos it's like i never trained for quite some time,so dont have the feeling there.but things went quite well after a while but my skills still have yet to be compared to before..it takes time i know..so,i have to get a new pair of contact lens by tmr,or else i wont be able to see the ball clearly during matches.and shit!i'm like so broke already..tmr still have to buy presents for two ppl..hope i can get some money from my granny..
Anyway,i'm so damn pissed off with him man..accuse me of doing something that doesnt concern me at all..how can he suspect me?it's really hurting lah..to be wrongly accused..i dont know whats wrong with him..he's acting so strange nowadays..is it my fault?did i do something wrong?i dont get it as to why he's treating me like that..why??am i supposed to just leave him alone?he walked pass me quite a number of times today..but i really dont dare to even look at him..is he angry with me or what?damn it.
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 12:45 PM
Friday, May 18, 2007'♥
I finally completed the napfa test 5 stations,haven done 2.4km run yet,maybe sometime next week.i got all As except for sit-and-reach,it's like 3cm more then A already sia..wl.never mind, get all A also for what..only look nice only,like no point like that.then,it's like so long never done any vigorous exercises,so after shuttle run and sit-ups,my back was like aching like hell man!!so damn pain..
got back elective history paper today.source-based was like "wow!",i scored 17/25.but structured-essay was like shit..3/25.i wrote barely 10 lines for both parts of the question,so i kinda expect myself to fail.
after school,accompanied ahma to NUH for her dental appointment and her dad fetched us,ahma,shah and me,there and then fetched us back to school cos ahma had soccer training. while watching her train,i was chatting with freda.talked to her about many things.saw him.never got to say HI to him,or perhaps didnt dared to.got this feeling that he is ignoring me,unless im just thinking too much..
andand,under 19 vball match is starting this sunday,haven told my parents anything about it.i dunno how to mention this to them.they will be damn mad at me cos they want me to concentrate on studies,and vball is taking to much of my time.i cant make up my mind..so stressed..and training is like tmr and i have to confirm with susu and my seniors..die already!!
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 12:08 PM
Thursday, May 17, 2007'♥
I just found out about something.its really hard to believe.i cant imagine how this thing can actually happen.Well,i guess it's none of my business..it's not my problem,so why should i even care?but i just dunno why,i feel so sad when i heard about this when i shouldnt be.what in the world am i thinking about?but i believe that this thing will not last.Forget about it,it's useless.or maybe i should say,do anything you want,i wont bother about it..
Anyway,got back some other papers today.
Social studies:25/50
E.maths:paper1-60/80
paper 2-54/100
Physics:47/75
i cant believe that i passed my ss.but i was kinda disappointed with my e.maths results,my paper 2 pulled my marks down.maybe i will get a B3 for it.i have no As for this mid-year, how sad..
Today is sucha boring day,i was kinda affected by that thing and was quite quiet during ss.even when i got back my ss results,i should be jumping with joy,but instead,i just sat quietly at my seat,and kept thinking about that thing for the whole lesson,so i didnt pay attention to what sharifah was talking about..why??
by the way,stayed back in school with shah and ahma to watch soccer match.it was quite boring.
after the match,went home alone and i walked all the way to tpjc the bus stop,was thinking of many things on the way.how i wish that i could continue walking all the way home,but was too tired..thats all for today.
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 11:13 AM
Wednesday, May 16, 2007'♥
:)
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 8:21 PM
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tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 2:45 PM
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Fixing a broken heart
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 2:24 PM
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got back some papers today..felt quite neutral.didnt expect that much,maybe i could really do better..this is definitely so for a.maths.i didnt bring my calculator and i still can score 50/100.. incredible right?i dunno how to tell my tutor my marks.she will definitely nag at me if she knows that i didnt bring my calculator..aahhh.SAVE ME!!haix..anyway,got back quite a few papers today.
English paper 2: 28/50
Pure geog: 46/100
Hmt: 58/100
Chemistry: 38.5/75
i know my results suck..i will aim higher and do much better for prelims.i swear!!i will not be affected by any problems by then,so i can concentrate better and bring back good results.im confident of this.Jiayousss!!
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 1:58 PM
Tuesday, May 15, 2007'♥
damn irritated..accidentally deleted the post earlier on.then,dont feel like saying much now.susu fetched ah bel,phebe and me to CCAB to watch NYJC's match against VJC..S played quite well sia..i see her play so well until i feel so excited,was screaming to myself every time she spikes one nice ball..haha.S is so cool,the way she plays..omg.cant stand it.after the match,i wanted to offer S the sugarcane drink ah bel bought for me but didnt dared to,cos i shy what.so phebe helped me to pass the drink to her when they were having debrief.so yah.didnt talk to S in the end.butbut,S called me right sfter ah bel and phebe dropped off at newton area.i didnt know whether to answer anot,but susu told me to.so in the end,i just answered.she called me personally just to say thanks for the drink..aahhh.i was laughing non-stop after i put down the phone.just couldnt stop laughing.was too excited.anyway,susu dropped me off at paya lebar mrt station cos she had things to attend to.and i suddenly realised that i didnt bring my ez-link card!the next worst thing is that i dont have money in my wallet at all!damn suay sia.so i just sat at the stairs of the train station thinking of what to do when i could easily hail a cab and ask someone at home to pay for me.but i was dumb enough not to think of that.so waited for like one and a half hours in total b4 my dad came to fetch me.ok.i feel silly.
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 1:38 PM
Monday, May 14, 2007'♥
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 6:13 PM
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Happy mother's day to my mummy!!and of course other mummies,eh i mean mothers in the world..have a great time with your families and spread the love around..
As for today,didnt study in the end.was watching my favourite drama serials the whole day and watched like ten episodes.i love the male and female leads man!!haha..so i guess i wasted my entire day without doing something meaningful..i feel so remorseful.and i think i will be going to watch the match with nyjc playing for third or forth position,hope they get third..but it's held at CCAB..sooo far,i dunno how to get there.i have this feeling that i hadnt seen coach for ages,thou it's like about one month only..i will be seeing him more often in the months to come i guess..
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 2:58 AM
Sunday, May 13, 2007'♥
today was sucha fun day..had free tickets to sentosa..so spent a whole day there trying to suntan but no use..cos like i suntan how long still wont get any darker.sian sia..i wanna get tanned.it's so unfair lah.other ppl stay in the sun for a while than kena tanned until so red..me leh?stay under the bloody sun for so long still like no diff..so damn irritated sia.so stayed in the waters for a few hours then wenta take a shower,and went vivo.my first time leh..paiseh.so many ppl lah..until i headache liao..but i went to CANDY EMPIRE.but like got not many things i like there. so in the end i just bought one pack of gummy sweets..then walked around the mall trying to help my mum find a gift for mother's day,but like got nothing she like..so she said that she will go out tmr and buy herself something she like and i just give her the money.like so unsincere sia..i feel so bad.and like a while later,my dad fetched us somewhere at loyang to have our supper,when i think it was supposed to be our late dinner.so many of the stalls closed already,so like not many choices.in the end no choice ate western food.so,yah..that was about all.
AND coach want the sec 4s in nyjc!!he said that i must be their libero..but i dunno if i will have the courage and confidence to join nyjc vball anot..still thinking about it,and i dont dare ask my parents cos they surely will disapprove one..what to do??
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 2:59 PM
Saturday, May 12, 2007'♥
Went to school for the NE quiz..very fun leh.can construct buildings with the money in my bank account..and my assets were like worth only 190 thousand..i think its because i answered a lot questions wrongly,thats why got very little money to construct buildings.i only remembered that i built ngee ann city,jurong something,tan tock seng hospital,and etcetc..cannot really recall.other people in my class like so rich only..got one of them her assets reach until 500 thousand plus sia..envious only.xp.haha.eh..then had a talk with form teacher at the chem lab,the atmosphere there a bit odd?like we're not doing experiments..why chem lab?haha.after that went to tmall for a while.most of the shops are not opened yet.walked for like less than an hour then went home with ahma.im feeling so sleepy now.gtg take a nap..bye:))
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 4:30 AM
Friday, May 11, 2007'♥
Qian nian lei
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 3:41 PM
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What hurts the most
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 2:37 PM
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What i've done
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 2:26 PM
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Never let you go
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 2:25 PM
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In the end,wenta meet eug and ahma at ws where ahma bought her beef kway tiao..the aroma was tempting,but i was too full to steal some from her..then we took bus from pasir ris int to elias mall where ahma got her haircut.the whole thing lasted for like one hour plus plus,cos ahma got her hair trimmed and treated.so me and eug waited till she felt like sleeping,i was busy reading the mags there while sitting on the seats..but the hairdresser was kind enough to offer us a cup of tea.so after that,we walked to ahma's house to upload photos we took yesterday.it was walking distance.and yay,my blog finally has photos!sooo happy lah:))haha..so we kinda slacked there for a while when ahma's tutor came..and OMG!!GUESS WHAT??her tutor looked like a guy,though being a woman.she was kinda tough and was wearing a helmet,she rides bikes kay..cool sia.haha.so until like 6 plus,me and eug left together and we took 39.the air con broke down sia,so it was kinda stuffy inside.luckily i get to allight two stops after..thank god!!i wonder how eug survived in the bus cos she had to take 39 till the school the bus stop..and yah.thats all. and before i forget,my mum baked chocolate chips muffin again!i love it mann!!
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 11:36 AM
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today will be a damn boring day.nothing to do at home,no school today=SIAN:[ think i will be using the com for quite a few hours,so this post is just a random one,will update tonight i think. may be going out for a while later to buy some stuff..but i have this urge to buy jigsaw puzzles to keep myself occupied for the whole afternoon,or maybe some hands-on stuff..sounds fun!haha. this will stop me from hallucinating:)don't get the wrong idea that im having some sort of depression,though i may sound like one due to one of my posts..i just meant thinking of other things that i shouldnt be thinking about..thats all.
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 2:53 AM
Thursday, May 10, 2007'♥
I'm starting to believe the fact that time heals everything.i guess that these few weeks i must have created some sort of disturbances or maybe troubles to him,causing him to feel all stressed up,though he denies it.i know he's just trying to hide his emotions,so to lessen his burden,i've finally decided to step out of this problem and let it go.friendship feelings is what we have,thats all,no more than that.i know that if i continue to be persistant,i will gain nothing,or maybe even lose something.or someone,a friend.i will only suffer if i refuse to let go and hold on to it.i guess that i have been foolish all these while without realising.now that i've woken up,life still goes on and i will just live with it.
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 2:20 PM
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Helloo!Exams are finally over..damn happy,don't have to face those dead books anymore.anyway,after geog paper 1,me and ahma went for a "conference".it was a meaningful talk,quite interesting too.then after that,i went with ahma back to her house,used her com till like 12 plus when shah came.then,i went home to bathe and met them at 2.took train to tanah merah to meet eugenia and went to marina.slacked at the starbucks near the merlion for a while then walked to fullerton hotel just to use the toilet.the toilet is damn amazing lah.i love the scent inside.haha. cam-whoring is fun!spent a long time in the toilet before leaving to marina square.went to the toilet again and took many photos,all full of our silliness only,haha..after a while, eugenia left.so me,ahma and shah wenta walk around..we went inside "idk whats the name of the shop" and i saw a roxy pencil case..it's so damn girly,cause it's pink!haha,i admit that i like pink..after like two hours plus,we went to eat dinner at the food court,wide variety.. what made me laugh was that i bought malay food and both of them bought chinese food..it's like getting our races mixed up like that..haha,so funny lah.took pictures again,ahma like go crazy already sia..keep laughing,somemore laugh until so scary.it was like quite dark already thats why ahma put flash.i hate flash,it makes me look more like a ghost!stupid shit,at least ahma was kind enough to change it back to the normal mode.finally,after a whole afternoon of fun and laughter,we took train home.then when i finally reached pasir ris mrt station,serene msged me that she was downstairs my block.so i rushed back to my block and chatted with her for quite a while.she didnt know what was going on with me these few days.so i kinda told her some,cos i really dunno where exactly to start..talked for half an hour and her bus came,so i went back home.thanks serene!i've sorted everything out,don't worry about me anymore,i promise you that this is my last time k.sorry for this:)
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 12:38 PM
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tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 12:33 PM
Wednesday, May 09, 2007'♥
For a few days,i've been having mixed feelings.i have been losing my sense of direction.i have no aims,no plans,nothing.i'm lost.i'm just moving on aimlessly.i have no idea why i should be feeling this way.just stress?personal problems?i guess it's both.i just can't let go.or maybe i should just wake up and face reality.but the truth is,reality hurts.
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 8:13 AM
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i know that i've not been blogging for the past four months or so.so here i am finally to continue blogging.
Life has been full of many complicated stuff,especially these three weeks or so,i didnt know what got into my head.i felt a spur of the moment to try something i never tried before.it was painful,but i didnt stop just because it was pain,instead,i continued until i could no longer take it.people might say that im foolish and silly,but who really understands how i feel?this is just part of growing up i guess,but not all people will be as,you can call it stupid,to try this.it leaves ugly and unwanted scars on yourself.this was my intention,i wanted it to stay on me,using pens and markers will only fade away as time goes by,so whats the point of it when it would just be temporary?teachers talked to me,and i told them the whole story.she said that i tend to keep a lot of things to myself and this will only make me suffer.i should try to get over this and carry on the way life goes.time heals everything,thats what my teacher said.is it true?most probably.i would not want to scare him away if i continue to be persistant,though i really cant let it go.maybe i should just let nature take its course by not asking for more.i should be contented with what i have now."loving someone does not mean that you have to be with him forever,but knowing that he's happy."i've promised many people around me that im not going to do this ever again,to my friends,teachers,i'm sorry!
tonight i've fallen and i can't get up; 6:13 AM
